Episode 15: This Umbrella Won't Protect You

Imposter Phenomenon (I don't like the term syndrome) is the umbrella under which all things fear and self-doubt reside. Any thought you have about your abilities or worth or readiness or expertise - all fall under it.

You see, Imposter Phenomenon doesn’t care about your job title or your rank. 

It doesn’t care about your many accomplishments.

It affects how you make decisions. It affects organizational culture. It affects your bottom line.

But this doesn't have to slow you down. There are many ways to manage and release the grip Imposter Phenomenon has on you. 

What you'll learn:

• How the Four Derailers™ play a role
• The benchmark you need to know to move forward
• The power of noticing
• Four ways to manage Imposter Phenomenon
• What questions to ask yourself that will lead to everything you want

Click here to schedule your complimentary Discovery Call with me today so you can create the career and life you crave!

Hey friend! I’ve created a new training and companion workbook for you that will help you ditch those limiting beliefs that keep you stuck and create the confidence you crave. It’s 22 minutes of pure gold that moves you to the next level of success in your career or business. Go to my website, barbarachurchill.com and click the START HERE tab in the upper right hand corner. Enter your name and email and you’ll have instant access to this life-changing information. It’s that simple!

Transcript

You are listening to episode 15 of the Create What You Crave Podcast. The one that shows you how Imposter Phenomenon is the umbrella for all things self-doubt and what to do about it.

Welcome to the Create What You Crave Podcast, a place for creating the self-confidence you need to be your best self as a leader at work and in life. If you want to bring more authenticity, more boldness, more clarity and more fun to your world, this is the place for you. I’m your host, Barbara Churchill. Are you ready? Here we go.

Well hello there. How are you doing on this shorter work week? It’s just after the Memorial Day holiday here in the US and I hope you all enjoyed a long, relaxing and fun weekend. I was on a road trip to visit my brother and his family. It had been a while since I traveled by car and it was so much fun. I love driving through small towns, trying their local restaurants and seeing the beauty that is missed when I fly on an airplane. 

I saw the most beautiful cemetery on Monday. It was filled with tall flags – all flapping in the breeze – and at the bottom of each flag as the name of the person and which war he/she served in. It made my heart swell and I got a lump in my throat. That small community really did it up right.

Before we jump into today’s topic, I want to give a shout out to one of my amazing clients, Leah. She lives in the same town as my brother so when the opportunity to meet each other came about, we jumped at it. We enjoyed a 3 ½ hour lunch and it was so fun getting to know her on a personal level. The best part of it was when she decided to order dessert. She just wanted a couple of bites of their signature dark chocolate cake. When our server came out with it, we erupted in laughter. It was a cake tower – 5 layers! It looked like we got ¼ of the entire cake! I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes. It was a great way to bring our time together to a close.

This is what happens in my private coaching program. My clients and I create a relationship that lasts long after our coaching relationship has ended. I truly value that because the women I have the privilege of coaching are incredible leaders and business owners. 

So, today, we’re going to talk about the umbrella that is imposter phenomenon. Remember – I don’t like the term syndrome for many reasons, one of which is because it sounds like a disease or diagnosis. It’s not something you have. It’s a pattern of thinking.

I recently had the privilege of speaking to a large group of female executives about the cause and consequences of Imposter Phenomenon. And while I have devoted the last ten years of my life to helping high-achieving professional women learn how to deal with this, I’m always a little surprised by how many women are struggling with this.

(Full disclosure: while walking my dog that morning, my Perfectionist Derailer™ flared up over my presentation on Imposter Phenomenon. The irony is not lost on me.)

You see, Imposter Phenomenon doesn’t care about your job title or your rank. 

It doesn’t care about your many accomplishments.

In fact, it uses those against you.

During the Q&A portion of my presentation, the chat box was flooded with comments on how the self-doubt can be almost crippling.

It affects how you make decisions.

It affects organizational culture.

It affects your bottom line.

IP is the umbrella for all things that produce a lack of self-confidence and a feeling of not being good enough. Even though you are qualified and successful, your perception is a mismatch of your skills and abilities.

Here’s a sampling of the many ways it may show up for you:

·        You feel like a fraud and worry others will find out you don’t know what you’re doing

·        You’re a perfectionist and are afraid to fail, which creates a ton of stress

·        You bump up against the glass ceiling (real and self-imposed) and are frustrated as hell, so you work harder and harder to prove your worth

·        You struggle to lead authentically because deep down you lack self-confidence

·        You don’t feel worthy despite your successes

·        You think you’ve been given a position or a responsibility by sheer luck-that you know you’re not equipped for-and you keep telling yourself that you don’t deserve it

·        You struggle to make decisions and are always second-guessing yourself and asking others for their opinions

·        You’re exhausted from all the decisions and projects you’re procrastinating on

You’ll notice that the Four Derailers™ - Perfectionist, Prover, Pleaser and Procrastinator are all mixed up in this as well. This is what’s creating all the stress in your world.

Knowing this is key to shifting your mindset. When you know where you are now, that’s the mark that you can measure your progress from. Noticing how your brain works and the well-worn patterns of thinking is huge. So start to notice those patterns. 

What do you think about your team and the people in it? Do you have judgments around their abilities or performance? 

When you’re approached by leadership, does your brain freeze and begin to tell you that you don’t know how to do what was just asked of you? Or you don’t know where to begin? Or you’re not ready to take on this larger responsibility?

Do you tell yourself that you should be working after dinner and that you have to work well into the night to get things done?

Do you doubt that you’ve achieved enough and feel behind on where you judge you should be?

These are thought patterns that you can notice and begin to shift.

Like the high-achieving professional women I work with and the thousands I speak to already know, there are many ways to manage and release the grip Imposter Phenomenon has on you. 

First and foremost, remember this:

Just because you think it, doesn’t make it true.

That one statement can completely change how you react when those thoughts – that stinkin’ thinkin’ – start to overtake your mind.

Second: Question those self-defeating thoughts.

Ask yourself: Are they problem-based? Are those thoughts all about worry and doubt and fear?

Are they useful?

Just by noticing when those thoughts start seeping into your mind, you make them less powerful.

And when you get curious and ask those questions, you realize how much of your brain is on autopilot, thinking the same things over and over again.

Being curious helps you shift out of that Spin Cycle of Negativity™ and into a lighter more optimistic mindset. And curiosity feels more enjoyable, right?

Third: Choose thoughts to replace those that aren’t useful. Choose to think intentionally – on purpose. This isn’t the same as, “just think positive thoughts”. This involves more effort than that which makes it much more effective. Choose what you want to fill your brain with. Choose what you want to think instead of what you currently think.

Fourth: Get to know the real you. How does she think? How does she act? How does she move through the world? This is the you that’s been covered up for a very long time. This is the you that knows who she is and owns it. This is the you that you can tap into anytime and access that inner wisdom you have.

The answers to these questions can help you show up in extraordinary ways and create extraordinary experiences.

This isn’t about crafting a vision of a life that’s free of struggle, ugly thoughts and difficult experiences. That version doesn’t exist.

I don’t want you to become a woman who never deals with hard things. I do want you to become a woman who:

• Trusts in yourself and your abilities.
• Takes action, even when it’s scary.
• Courageously does the hard thing now that will make life easier down the road.

I love knowing that my future self has dealt with hard things and triumphed. It only makes me believe in myself more.

I love her grit. I love her imperfections.

And I love how she shows up for herself, even though the conditions are far from perfect.

I want that for you, too, my friend. 

You can have that.

Don’t waste another month or year of your life trapped in “black and white” thinking, waiting for your perfect life.

Your richest experiences are almost always the ones calling out to you from the murky gray space.

If you can practice stepping boldly into the unknown …

You might just fall in love with who you become in the process.

That’s what my private coaching program does for you. I give you the tools and we dive into what it is you truly desire.

I help you create what you crave, and then you get to live it.

Are you ready to quit letting the imposter in your head rule your work and life? I have a couple of coaching spots open, so schedule a complimentary call with me today. The link is in the show notes.

Like the saying goes, into life a little rain must fall. When that happens, don’t you want to have the right umbrella – the one that supports and protects you?

It’s time you let the real you come out to play.

Your transformation awaits.

Until next week, remember – I believe in you.

 Thanks so much for listening to the Create What You Crave podcast. I’m on a mission to help as many women as I can get out from under the weight of self-doubt and own who they are unapologetically.  Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and feel free to review it, too. I want to hear from you! I invite you to learn more by visiting me at www.barbarachurchill.com and if you know you’re ready to take that next step, you can schedule a time for us to connect. See you next week.