Episode 85: How to Experience More Joy

I’m continuing my series on the holidays and this week I’m sharing my thoughts on creating joy and how to experience it – even when life is saying Bah Humbug.

What You’ll Learn:

• The difference between happiness and joy.
• The #1 predictor of happiness and why it’s not guaranteed.
• Who is responsible for creating joy in your life.
• Why hard times are necessary to living a full life.

Joy is a feeling you can create yourself anytime you want to. But it’s not easy to get there. That’s where I can help. Schedule your Discovery Call with me today so you can take the first steps on your journey to living joyfully. 

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Transcript

Hello and thank you for being here! If you are new to me, welcome. I’m grateful you’re here. If you’ve been around for a while, welcome back.  It’s good to be with you all and I’m so grateful that I get to do this every week. Sometimes I pinch myself – I love the work I get to do!

We’re in the thick of the holiday season and I wanted to shift gears a little bit. I’ve shared some great tips on how to reduce stress and actually enjoy the holidays this year, so be sure to scope out the last 4 episodes. I’ll list them in the show notes.

This week I want to talk about joy – not happiness – joy. Happiness is a heightened state that most people want to maintain. That’s what most of my clients tell me they want when we begin working together. They just want to be happy. What they really want is what causes that feeling. According to a study, the number 1 predictor of happiness is the quality of your relationships. And as we know, relationships have their ups and downs. So to pin our happiness on those relationships isn’t guaranteed.

When we work hard toward a goal and are attached to the outcome as we’ve envisioned it, when it doesn’t happen the way we thought it should, happiness eludes us. So many of us – me included – count on others to pull their weight in our important relationships, to meet our 50% with their 50%. Most often it’s not a 50/50 situation. It ebbs and flows and has swings that can be difficult. Then we add the holidays on top of it and well, our expectations can be a source of pain.

What if you didn’t depend on others to be your source of joy? What might that look like? Certainly not the perfection our imagination sees when we first craft a goal or focus on improving our relationships. The truth is – we are solely responsible for creating our own joy and can do it at any time. 

Joy is different. It’s a burst of dopamine that fills your heart completely. It can be as small as watching a hummingbird seek out the nectar of a flower or as big as the birth of a child. It can be the feeling you get when you realize what’s going right in your life or that you have the power to create joy anytime you want. 

I’ve been a seeker all my life, searching for enlightenment through countless books, teachers and courses – and it always eluded me. Don’t get me wrong, I learned a lot, but I expected to find joy outside of myself. When I accomplished this, then I would feel joy. When I made a certain amount of money, then I would arrive. It’s only when I realized that joy was the ultimate lesson I needed to learn, that I began let go of my expectations and embrace what was coming my way including the zigs and zags of my path. 

If you’re going through something in your life that isn’t what you planned, a transformation is at hand. We never get to the next level of our career or life without going through a transformation. Remember the butterfly and what she goes through. Full disclosure - I’d prefer to zip through the hard stuff fast so I can get to the good stuff. I’m guessing you’re right there with me. But that’s not how it usually happens, right? It takes all the moments added together and sometimes those moments go on and on. But one day when you least expect it – a phoenix rises from the ashes. That phoenix is you.

If we were sipping tea together, I’d tell you there’s a new cycle coming, and that cycle is going to teach you all about joy. Believe me I know because I’m in the thick of life right now. It’s hard not to worry when you don’t know what’s coming next, right? And – I offer you this: the void is a magical place from which all creation arises. And joy is part of that creation.

So when you’re asking, “Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this?”, know the answer from the universe is “It’s time to move you along your path. It’s to teach you to live.” And once again, another transformation. 

Can you find joy in what you’re experiencing right now? Can you rediscover a sense of wonder and awe about life? I marvel at the littlest things lately – finding something I thought I’d misplaced, remembering why I came into a room, watching a chickadee flit from tree to birdfeeder and back. Our world is really marvelous if we just take the time to stop and notice.

If this sounds utterly impossible to you right now, I’ve got you. Schedule your complimentary Discovery Call with me today and let’s talk about how you can find joy in whatever is happening in your world. It’s possible for you, my friend. You just need a partner to help you navigate your new path and help you see that you are an integral part of the beauty and power of the universe.

That’s what I have for you this week. Until next time remember:

I believe in you.