Episode 93: Loving Yourself When You Procrastinate

 February is the month of love and this month is focused on self-love. We all have behaviors that don’t support self-love and procrastination is one of them. It may feel like you’re taking care of yourself by avoiding the uncomfortable feelings, but that’s not the case. It’s time to begin to let go of those behaviors and embrace new ones that help you feel great.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why letting go of “professional” feels more authentic.
• Self-love as a priority and the benefits.
• The connection between procrastination and depression.
• 10 ways to interrupt your behavior patterns.

Isn’t it time you stopped avoiding and started turning inward to hear what your authentic self really craves? Schedule your Discovery Call with me today so we can discuss how you can love who you are right now.

Hey friend! I’ve created a new training and companion workbook for you that will help you ditch those limiting beliefs that keep you stuck and create the confidence you crave. It’s 22 minutes of pure gold that moves you to the next level of success in your career or business. Go to my website, barbarachurchill.com and click the START HERE tab in the upper right hand corner. Enter your name and email and you’ll have instant access to this life-changing information. It’s that simple!

Transcript

Hey, hey, hey! Happy Worthiness Wednesday everyone and welcome to episode 93 of the podcast. I’m your hostess, Babs Churchill and I’m so glad you decided to pop in and join me. Now, before I dive in, I wanted to share that I’ve decided to be more authentic and have changed how I prefer to be referred to. I’ve never really liked my name – Barbara – and got teased mercilessly in my secondary school career from song lyrics to nicknames that were tied to my physical appearance, my name has never felt like it fit. I’ve always called myself Babs and so have several of my friends, so I decided that I’m going to let go of the story that I need to be “professional” and that means using my full and more formal name. So – from now on, you can call me Babs, OK?

And this fits perfectly into my theme this month because I’m talking about self-love and some of the ways it can be difficult to express and how it must be your first priority. When it is, all things are possible and you live in the flow of life. Remember that when you’re practicing it and you feel off or unsettled it’s because others around you – and our society in general – are not going to be used to you putting yourself first and it may be unsettling for them as well. Plus, you’re not used to doing it either. 

Let’s talk about procrastination and self-love. Procrastination is one of the 4 Derailers™ I talk about on this podcast. 

It’s a trauma response, a coping mechanism that you learned early on to help you avoid discomfort. It’s really that simple. It has nothing to do with being lazy, so if that’s what your brain, that judgmental voice we all have inside our heads, if that’s what it’s been saying, don’t believe it.

I did a little digging and asked the Google for some information and here’s what I found. According to a 2014 study on procrastination and coping, 20-25% of adults worldwide are chronic procrastinators. The issue can be linked to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and ADHD. People who procrastinate tend to have high levels of anxiety as well as poor impulse control.

When Procrastination Points to Anxiety

Avoiding tasks out of fear of an unpleasant outcome is a sign of anxiety. For example, when people fear a result, they may delay learning the results of a test, or avoid taking the test altogether.

People with anxiety may also struggle with perfectionism. When this is the case, they may feel stuck with a project if they feel they aren’t doing it as well as possible. They may delay completing an assignment if the best ideas aren’t coming to them, or if they believe they’ll make less than a top grade.

People with anxiety can have a tendency to feel overwhelmed, which can make it hard to begin a task at all. When we perceive an overload of information, it can be hard to know where to begin.

Procrastination’s Role in Depression

People with depression tend to dwell on negative thoughts and experience self-doubt. Lower energy levels and difficulty motivating oneself are two common symptoms of depression as well. If someone can’t muster the energy to complete a task, they may find it easier to put it off until they feel better. With depression, though, it can be difficult to gauge if—or when—someone feels motivated enough to complete what they need to. I know this from personal experience. As I have shared before, I’m a master at procrastination and have suffered the consequences of that mastery over and over. And I see it in my coaching clients, too. The suffering is real. You may believe it has helped you in the past, but it is not helping you anymore.

But when you add some mild or underlying depression to the mix, it can compound the situation even more. In the last year, I’ve been in this situation. I’ve been depressed for over a year and never wanted to admit it. I found myself pushing through to make myself do some things but avoiding other things. I would venture to guess no one really knows this has been my experience because I haven’t shared it with my friends nor have I shared it in the internet world. So, this admission makes me feel a little naked if I’m being honest. But this is my truth and the truth of several of my clients. Women aren’t supposed to feel this way. We’re supposed to be able to do and handle it all. What a pile of BS. And this cycle of avoidance and self-flagellation can become a vicious cycle if you aren’t paying attention.

Procrastination might feel like you’re taking care of yourself, but I’m here to tell you it’s not self-loving at all. It hurts you again and again because you put off something that you think is going to be hard or feel awful, but the truth is, you already feel like shit because you’re procrastinating

So what do we do about this? How do we change this pattern?

We have to move toward something positive, even if it’s the smallest of steps. By taking those small steps – even if it’s just taking a shower – you are closer to feeling better. 

So we need to interrupt that pattern of thinking and behaving and we do that by changing both. Instead of sitting and scrolling on your phone, you get up and walk outside for a bit. Even if it’s just to the mailbox, you’ve taken a small step toward shifting that old pattern to something more positive. 

·        Play with your pet. My dog Daisy is a constant source of joy.

·        Call a friend (no texting. When did it get so hard to just chat on the phone?)

·        Turn on upbeat music and sing or dance to it.

·        Take a shower.

·        Drink a full glass of water or two.

·        Do 10 push-ups.

·        Grab a cup of coffee and chat with a coworker.

·        Write down 5 things you’re grateful for.

These baby steps are just a few ideas to help you interrupt that procrastination pattern and get back on track. I’d love to hear your ideas or what you do when that nasty Derailer™ pops in for a visit.

Once you stop that pattern, you can make the shift to taking action. Just by completing one or two things on a larger project will make you feel so much better and more positive moving forward. I often give myself a deadline to get something done – like an hour for example. There’s no time for messing around, multi-tasking or avoiding. I’m committed to myself and I have to get it done. I’ve done this so many times that I now know to look forward to feeling proud of myself, which is always a great feeling. 

So my friends, decide today to notice when you’re going down the procrastination path and interrupt that pattern. Report back to me on what you discover, OK? Just shoot me an email at hello@barbarachurchill.com . You can be proud of yourself right now, without changing a thing – and you can decide to change what’s no longer working for you. I’m here to help so if you’re ready to let that all go, schedule your Discovery Call with me today. Don’t procrastinate this one! Do it right now when you’re feeling upbeat and positive about yourself and your future. 

Until next time, remember: I believe in you!