Episode 99: The Power of One Moment

This week I’ve got a real treat for you! My fellow life coach (and friend) Crystal Ruth Thompson is joining me and we’re talking about the power of one moment and how it can completely change the course of your life. We both are life coaches and we both have our own coaches. Tune in and you’ll see why we think it’s essential to not only our success but to ensure we are living a life we choose!

What You’ll Learn:

• How powerful even the smallest of moments can be.
• Debunking the myth that transformation takes a long time.
• How to make sure you move forward even in chaos.
• The ONE question to ask that will change everything.

One moment can truly change your life. What do you want your next moment to look like? Schedule your Discovery Call with me today so we can explore what’s possible for you, right now. 

Hey friend! I’ve created a new training and companion workbook for you that will help you ditch those limiting beliefs that keep you stuck and create the confidence you crave. It’s 22 minutes of pure gold that moves you to the next level of success in your career or business. Go to my website, barbarachurchill.com and click the START HERE tab in the upper right hand corner. Enter your name and email and you’ll have instant access to this life-changing information. It’s that simple!

Transcript

Hey, my friends, it's Babs here and I have an extra special treat for you on this particular podcast. I have invited my friend, my colleague, her name is Crystal Ruth Thompson, and I'm going to tell you up right now, just buckle up because she is my new favorite Canadian certified life and business coach and I want her to be yours too.

She's the creator of the vision page process and she is a mix of life coaching finesse and a sprinkle of scientific insight with a dash of outside the box creativity all wrapped up in an obsession with washi tape. And I didn't even know what that was before I met her. She and I are talking about the power of one moment and we are talking about how coaching can create those powerful moments.

We both share a couple of powerful moments that we've each had during our life as a coach and during the times that we've had coaches. And we both believe in the fact that we need coaches as we continue to grow and expand. So, I invite you to sit back and listen. And I'm going to have a lot of juicy content for you in this episode.

Plus, make sure you look at the show notes because Crystal's got an offering for you, and I've got an offering for you. And it's just, this is a big bundle of love. And I want you to really be aware of how powerful just one moment can be. 

Babs: I am so tickled for this episode. I can't even stand myself. I am here with my friend. I have coached with her. I haven't known her all that long. We'll get into that. Her name is Crystal Ruth and she's the life coach for life coaches and entrepreneurs. And I'm so tickled that you are here, my friends. I adore you. I just love your energy. You're all the colors that you have. You're so creative. Welcome to the podcast. 

Crystal: Oh, thank you. Right back at you, Babs. You know, I loved you the moment I met you in a hallway in Milton or wherever we were. 

Babs: I love it. I love it. So. You and I were talking, I don't know, a couple of weeks ago or so, and we were talking about the powerful moments, not just in life, but in coaching.

And that's really what I want to focus on today because we are all going a mile a minute and you know, one little moment can drastically change your life, right? Or in a, you know, in a positive way, in a negative way. I mean, there's all kinds of ways that these tiny little moments can have an impact and oftentimes we don't even stop because we're so busy getting all this stuff done, um, we don't stop to notice it I mean, you know, yes that phrase stop and smell the roses all that kind of stuff, but it really does impact you now, whether it's a big moment like giving birth or it's a tiny moment like You know, watching the sunset or listening to a child giggle.

I don't know about you, but dog videos and kids laughing videos. When I need to pick me up, I watch those all the time. 

Crystal: Well, dogs are always in a good mood. So, they're always a good idea, right? 

Babs: I know it always makes me laugh. So., I want to talk about moments. I want to talk a little bit about, um, our coaching moments that we've had with our clients and the ones that we have, because I know Crystal, you really believe in having a coach as well. Not just being a coach for others, having a coach and I am of the same. 

Crystal: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're life coaches, right? And I can't show up and encourage people to invest in themselves through coaching if I'm not willing to do the same myself in some way, shape, or form. And so I also, I believe in the power of life coaching so strongly that behind the scenes, I always have somebody helping me run the show.

And the thing that I love about life coaching is I see transformation happen in an instant, right? You're talking about the power of a moment, and sometimes we have these big things in our life that we want to change, and it's like, oh, it's going to take so much time and be so much work. And I've experienced in my life, and I see my clients experience it all the time, where actually change can happen in a moment.

If you're open to it, that is, that can be the power of a moment. And that can change, can continue to trickle into the future. And that change can continue to grow. But at the end of the day, the first spark of change takes a moment. That's it. 

Babs: And I, I love that because I think so often people think if they're going to make a change in their life, it's going to take forever. And I think sometimes people don't know the difference between coaching. And therapy 

Crystal: 100 percent 

Babs: And therapy can take a long time. Coaching doesn't have to, I mean, I can't, my clients have had breakthroughs in 10 minutes, less than 10 minutes because it's all about asking the right questions. 

Crystal: Yes. 

Babs: And getting them to a place where they're like, Oh my God, you just blew my mind.

Crystal: Or smoke is coming out of their ears. And you're like, there, there it is. Certainly. I mean, I think we both would be on the same page here. There's a time and place for therapy and there's a time and place for coaching and e, they're both valuable and they're super different. Um, but. coaching like I've seen it and I've experienced it in my life where it was the power of a moment to like give me a swat and wake me up from my poopy pants like poor me story.

Babs: I call it putting on my four year old pants. I don't wanna. 

Crystal: Yeah. 

Babs: That's what my brain is telling me. Right. I don't want to. So what, what, I want you to think of a moment, a coaching moment that you had that was really impactful, but it, you know, it wasn't like it took six months to get there. 

Crystal: Right. Well, do we have two years? I have so many. I know. I'm going to keep this short and sweet. I recognize that your audience are busy professionals and I want, I want everybody to have this, this takeaway and this kind of, um, idea that change can happen in a moment. So, I'm going to tell you a really quick story and then tell you the coaching that I received and the results of that coaching.

And so, um, last October, as you know, uh, my brother who has since passed was very sick. And he had been sick for a couple years, and sadly he had gotten to the point where he had the use of only one of his arms, and previously he was a total, totally functioning human. The point is, He ended up in emergency because he had pneumonia.

And my parents were on a cruise. My sister and I were trying our best to look after him. I live in Canada and our emergency system, at least where I live, is just terrible. So, we showed up to emergency. And he was like in the corner, no water, no help. He couldn't advocate for himself. And it was just awful.

And so, for the four days he was in emergency, my sister and I were taking turns and like going back and forth to this poor man who had the use of one arm and was basically being ignored. Um, and my sister has three kids at home. I have four kids at home. And I, I was really stressed out and emotional as you can well imagine.

And I just felt like I had no support at home. Like nobody was picking up the pieces and throwing a pizza in the oven realizing, oh my goodness, like I have three stepchildren and one of my own, like Crystal’s running back and forth to the hospital, maybe we should help out. Like maybe we should do something here.

Right. And my husband wasn't getting it either. And so. Long story short, Scott, my brother, went back to his nursing home, he got, he got discharged, and I was exhausted, and I was poopy pants, and I was mad at the world for not supporting me, and I was set to go on a group coaching retreat, and I showed up there in full on, I'm feeling sorry for myself.

Mode and I had this attitude like I have a really hard life I'm going through this really hard situation with my brother. The world is against me and Yeah I showed up exhausted and feeling sorry for myself and I wanted to give my coach at the time all of the reasons why I couldn't progress. It wasn't the right time, and she gave me one piece of coaching that completely changed my life And here it is.

You ready? 

Babs: Ready. 

Crystal: It was this question. How can you make sure this never happens again? 

Babs: So good. 

Crystal: I know. And it's so good. My brain was like, screw you. I can't make sure that my brother never goes to emergency again. She's like, no, no, no, no, no. Focus on what you can control. How can you go home and set up conditions in your own home with your children and with your husband and whatever else support you need so that.

What happened at home while you were looking after your brother never happens again. And I was pissed. Babs.

Babs: Oh, I don't blame you. 

Crystal: I was like, she doesn't like, did she hear my story? But then I'm like, okay, crystal, like you're a coach. Let the coaching take root. And all of a sudden, my favorite coaching tool came back to me, which is a hundred percent responsibility.

I'm like, okay, how can I take a hundred percent responsibility and make damn sure that this. doesn't happen to me again. And I went from like the little things, Babs, like I can buy Prego instead of killing myself to be the perfect mom making spaghetti sauce from scratch. Ha ha, that was me. 

Babs: I know, but you know what? I so can relate to that because I had a mother that did use TV dinners back in the day when they, you know, first came out, you and I are a little bit different in age, but you know, all of that stuff. And I was like, no way, no way. I mean, I was cooking my own dinner at, you know, 13. But I get that. It's all that extra work that we tell ourselves we believe that we have to do in order to be a good mother.

Crystal: Exactly. And, um, this is a thought I have, but when you're a stepparent, it's like, it's exponential because all of a sudden subconsciously trying to prove yourself not to your stepchildren, but to their mom, who isn't even living with you.  Like all this kind of craziness, right? And I really, and I saw all the places I was martyring myself.

And did I mention that my, my two oldest stepchildren are 18 and 20? 

Babs: Okay, seriously. 

Crystal: Right, right. They're not three. Like, and so that one piece of coaching, although it stung in the moment and I was pissed, woke me up from my own, like, sad reality that I was martyring myself, probably to try to prove my worthiness to my stepchildren, who have been with me for like nine years.

This isn't a new, new relationship. So, I came home and I made certain that that would never happen to me again.  I asked for more help from my husband. I hired people to help me drive my son home from school. It's a 45-minute commute. Um, and I really took that one piece of coaching seriously. It changed my personal life, and it changed my business life as well because I saw the changes taking place and I started trusting myself again and I had the best Q4 and Q1 despite my life behind the scenes not being perfect. 

Babs: Yeah. 

Crystal: And sadly, October 29th, my brother passed away. The beautiful part was, I had already come home and received that one piece of coaching and set up and was starting to set up systems for myself. So, I had support in place when he left this world. And on the other side of the equation, and then I'll stop talking.

I think sometimes we as coaches don't even realize the impact that we have. And so, I was sure to tell that coach and message her like, look, I, you probably don't remember this one piece of coaching. Now, I was mad, but I really was like, this is what I came to this group coaching thing for something to change my life and I got it.

But I had to be willing to open myself up to it and trust that even in a group coaching situation, I could get what I needed. And I did. 

Babs: It's that, that one question is so powerful because it's not only draws your attention to what you can control, right? 

Crystal: Yes. 

Babs: But it requires you to take responsibility for your thinking and your behavior.

Crystal: Yes! 

Babs: And so often, that's really hard to do, especially, you know, as you call them, when you got your poopy pants on. It's everybody else, it's the circumstance, it's everybody else's fault. I'm just, listen, I'm doing the best I can, I can't believe this is going on, and now you're telling me what am I responsible for?

I'm responsible for too much. 

Crystal: Right.

Babs: But it really requires you to really dig in and say, okay, really, what do I have control over? And the only thing we really have control over ever is how we respond to things, right? And we have to really look inward and say, okay, you know, I'm responsible for this. I've created X, right?

I mean, I used to, Crystal, I so feel you on this because I used to make, um, finger paint out of vanilla pudding that I put food coloring in just in case the kids would put their fingers in their mouth and didn't want to eat. I mean, it was ridiculous. 

Crystal: I know. And we fill our time with these things. I'm proud to tell you, Babs, I had a very busy day at work yesterday and I went to our local co-op and bought the children chicken fingers for supper.

And nobody died and nobody ate a vegetable either. Right. He's like, my husband's busy. He's a realtor. I was busy. And sometimes, I would never have done that prior to, what was it, October of 2023, and it's only like March of 2024 as we're recording. And that is just the power of one coaching moment. And I could tell you endless stories, this is the most recent, and it still continues to have a ripple effect.

Babs: It's such a great question. You know, and I was thinking before we met today, I was thinking about some of the experiences that I've had. Um, and I don't, I want people to remember that it isn't, you know, these can happen, and coaching helps you really get in tune with your own intuition and your own thinking and your own, um, ability to ask yourself these key questions.

I mean, you know, and my listeners know this because I've shared my, my, um, double mastectomy story, but that was one moment in January of 2009 waking up in the morning. It's one moment of hearing that intuitive message take them off its time. And they, they, you know, and of course, through a series of events and everything, it was like, yeah, this totally makes sense.

And boom, double mastectomy. And it turned out it was a really good decision to make. Yeah. But the most recent thing I think for me, because I always have a coach, um, is the question of what's possible. And when we're getting into. making changes, you know, I'm going through some pretty big life changes with, you know, my dad's decline and, um, ending a very long marriage, you know, you kind of get into that worry of, Oh my God, now what?

You know, because you had a picture of what your life was going to be like, and now it's completely changed. 

Crystal: Oh, it's different. 

Babs: And I think because our brains are hardwired to do that, we just go to the negative and we get into fear, and we do all that. But you know what? Here's the thing. Society can say someone of my age is, you know, starting to talk about, well, when should you collect Social Security?

And, you know, um, you, you're getting into your quote unquote crone stage, which hello, we got to have a new name for that because what the frick is that? 

Crystal: It should be Queen. 

Babs: It should be Queen stage, wisdom, all of that, right? But for me, thinking about what's possible, when we were together in June of last year, I never would have thought it was possible for me to do commercials or model.

Oh, I'm too old. I'm too this. I'm too whatever right knew it. 

Crystal: That makes perfect sense, right? 

Babs: So it was like I listened to that question. This question was asked what's possible was asked to me three and a half years ago. And it has been a question that I ask myself all the time when I am in a funk, when I am trying to create something new, when I'm, I, it's my favorite question to ask my clients for sure.

And in creating this new life for myself, what's possible with that, right? I want to live in Europe three months out of every year and I may move there at some time. I have no idea, but what's possible, right? When we think about that, it just shifts energy. And it, it is such a powerful question for me. So, for me, what's possible?

Yeah, I'm doing modeling and I'm doing, uh, some commercial work. I'm taking a voiceover course on how to learn how to do voiceovers. 

Crystal: Of course you are. 

Babs: And it doesn't mean that I'm not going to coach, I'm not going to do, but you know what? What is possible at my age right now? I have a new identity. I'm no longer a hands-on mom, right?

I am no longer somebody's wife, right? All right. So then who am I? And there's so many layers to that. So, what's possible for Babs at this stage of life moving forward, it's really exciting. But it's such a powerful question. I'm telling you.

Crystal: I'm excited to see what came to mind when you said what's possible. And it's so fascinating how we all have different tools for, for our clients. I'm going to incorporate that into my toolbox, but it's not a question that I consider routinely. And now I'm taking that with me. So thank you. What it does is it opens up a new imaginal portal. Almost like it, it forces you to go beyond, and I don't mean in like a woo woo way, but like, go beyond the everyday humdrum, like if I stop killing myself and making spaghetti sauce from scratch and pull out a bottle of Prego, what's possible for me in that hour?

For you, like, in this different season of life, like, If I just open up my imagination and my creativity, like, let me daydream for a minute. Let me really think about what's possible. 

Babs: Not what makes, you know, and, and we have to make sure, and I say this to my clients all the time, don't tell me what's realistic. That's not what I'm interested in. 

Crystal: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Babs: I've got some clients who are shifting into a, you know, they want to get out of the career they're in and make a very large shift into something else. And it's like, okay, what's possible. And they have the, they're in a box. 

Crystal: Right. 

Babs: Well, you know, with these qualifications, with my resume, with my background, this is no.

What would be really fun? I just talked to a client yesterday and I said, you know, what would be really fun? What would really be fun? And she said, well, give me an example. I said, I think it'd be fun to work at the Minnesota zoo in the sea otter section and be the gal that comes out with the bucket of food for them, you know, and toss it out into the water and just watch them eat because I love sea otters. 

Crystal: Yeah. 

Babs: Is that realistic? No, I don't have the background for that, but it doesn't matter. I just want to start to think about the creative, you know, let those creative juices flow and get out of that box and start to, because really cool stuff starts coming up for you. 

Crystal: I like, I have, um, this, I don't know. What do you call a theory? It's not a theory. I have this term called sleep work. As you know, you never go to sleep without a great question for your subconscious or without thinking about what your win tomorrow will be. This is a good sleep work question. 

Babs: Yes, totally. 

Crystal: The process is very simple. As you're going to bed, just start imagining what's possible and let your subconscious go to work for you and see what happens when you wake up in the morning. That is a great sleep work question. What's possible. 

Babs: And I'm just going to tell my listeners that, uh, crystal sleep work. I have a notebook next to my bed and I answer my questions. I answer my questions every day and, uh, go to bed. And invariably it may not be the next day, but invariably I will get my answers because I've allowed my brain to relax and just go to sleep.

It doesn't have to work, you know overnight to to maintain and contain this question and noodle it and all of that. It's like nope. I'm just gonna release it 

Crystal: Yeah, just release it. I love it. 

Babs: So that is just one of the many amazing creative tools that crystal has and You've got something else coming up. Don't you? 

Crystal: I do. Um, so one of the other pieces of the puzzle that came when I was willing to get out of my own way and really answer the question, how can you make sure this never happens again? Shortly after I got home from that retreat and my brother passed away. And as you know, people pass away, people get sick, things happen and your dreams don't die.

And in that time, I came up with a process called the vision page process. It is, uh, a process that is part science of human motivation, part practical woo, and part Crystal Thompson creativity. And what I've done recently is I've packaged that into a secret podcast. Um, so that's the first nine episodes of a secret podcast called Life Coach on demand.

And so, everybody who gets my secret podcast will get the vision page process. Um, and then after that, there are weekly episodes so that you have a life coach on demand – who is me. Every so good. 

Babs: Okay. I'm going to have a link to that in the show notes, so make sure that you read the show notes. I think that is amazing. And you know, there is just something so powerful with sharing these moments together, right? Sharing it with another human being, sharing, um, the experiences. I mean, I just got the question from you. You just got the question from me and we're both going to take these and share it with their clients and everybody.

And use it ourselves. There's such power in getting together. I'm going to be, um, you and I have talked about this. I'm going to be doing dinners in the Minneapolis, St. Paul area, and it's going to be on a regular basis. So, um, there is a power of women getting together to share a meal, to connect to not just for networking, but to really connect on a soul level.

And we do it so easily and so quickly. It's amazing. Women are amazing. So I'm going to be doing, they're going to be called More to Life Dinners and so if you want more information on that for sure send me an email at hello@barbarachurchill.com And I’ll put you on the list. It's going to be starting next month in April. I cannot wait 

Um, I could talk to you all day

I could. I adore your energy. I adore your creativity. You guys should see I am interviewing her and she's in her office. She has all of her books color coded on the shelf. She's got gold polka dots on her wall. I mean the gold unicorn on her bookshelf. I'm telling you this woman is Miss Creativity and Color.

Crystal, thank you so much for being a guest today. I love our conversations and um, seriously check her out. She's got good stuff. I adore you. Thank you so much. 

Crystal: Likewise. Thank you, Babs